• demi lucas

A year of loving you

Updated: Jul 22, 2020

A year ago a lot of strange things happened. 4 months before that though, we decided to stop my medication because after 7 months I still wasn’t ovulating... it was time to let it go and just enjoy what we had instead of obsessing about what we couldn’t get.

Fast forward 4 months ... happy and content with life, with baby making behind us, I went to go fetch Luna from our neighbours house where she played daily. As I walked into their home their dog came jumping on me and during the entire visit she wanted to sit on my lap and lick me, it was so absurd because I’ve been in their home at least 2-3 times a week for the last year and she was never phased by me what so ever. I remember laughing and asking my neighbour Natelee what on earth was going on with her dog and she laughed and said jokingly “are you maybe pregnant, animals can pick up on that” I laughed and just responded with a “maybe hey haha” and then shook it off.

The next morning I got Luna dressed for school and as we got to our car, there was about 10 birds sitting on it, just to paint the picture, we lived in an estate near the city with minimal trees, you rarely saw birds. All of these little incidents made me feel really strange and Natelee’s comment started simmering in my mind, I immediately told myself to stop, to not even go there, It would just end in disappointed again. As the morning passed I just couldn’t get it out of my head, I decided to go buy a pregnancy test so that I could stop wondering and kill the little seed of hope before it grows, because I’m not pregnant.

A quick drive to the mall to buy a test at Pick n Pay, I mean I knew I was not pregnant so let’s just buy a “cheapie” to put my mind to rest 😂 5 minutes later in the cubicle of the mall I sat staring at this test that had a very faint line ... google “what does a faded line on pregnancy test mean”, google responds “it normally means low levels of hCG that indicates an early pregnancy” so obviously my mind goes crazy but I tell myself “it’s just a faint line though and it is a cheap test so don’t get excited Demi” I took a photo and sent it to my sister, not wanting to bother hubby because again it’s probably nothing and I didnt want to get his hopes up either, I ask her what she thinks and she responds with the same google answer but says that I should maybe go buy another test. Off to Dischem Pharmacy, this time I decided on a digital test, one where my eyes could not deceive me, a clear pregnant or not pregnant.

After paying at Dischem I ran out of time and had to rush to meet hubby for lunch, unable to keep it to myself I decided to quickly put the faded pregnancy stick in my sunglass holder and put it on the table in-front of him. He looked at me strangely and said “and this?” I just shrugged at him and smiled shyly. Opening it, he got this massive smile on his face and just said “what!?!” I quickly jumped in and said “I don’t know, maybe, we need to take a proper test” and then I continued to tell him about my morning and why I took the test and what google said. We decided to not get excited until we take another test and then left to go pick Luna up from school.

At home I went straight to the bathroom to put Clear Blue Digital to work, I closed the test and then hubby took it and said “no peaking until it’s been 5 minutes”. LONGEST 5 MINUTES EVER!

He then peaked at the stick and said there’s no results yet. I was literally pacing up and down trying to distract myself and then he just looked at me with his boyish grin and nodded his head, I ran over to him, needing to see it for myself and there it was, a big clear PREGNANT sign with a little 2-3 weeks flicker!

So baby boy, today marks a year of loving you, because the moment I saw that sign my heart swole and I started loving you instantly and unconditionally.

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